Me, Wearing a Pantsuit and a Baby

An illustration that my sister-in-law Amy did for me.

I joined a new PR tool called HARO – Help A Reporter Out, so I get a daily email digest from reporters looking for sources. I responded to a request for an article about moms, and today Molly Cerreta Smith used my quote in her story on SheKnows called “From Mom to MILF.” It’s about how busy moms can still make themselves feel good about their appearance.

Here’s what I sent Molly:

I am a mom of three little kids. I spend most days that I’m home wearing jeans and a hoodie. I work part-time in media-facing work. I feel much more confident and capable at work than I do at home…I’m a great writer, editor, and speaker, but I feel like I fall short as a mom and homemaker. For work, I often wear a pantsuit and high heels, and I feel like I can take on the world! So an instant confidence-booster for me is to get dressed up in my work clothes.

I find the best of both worlds when I have on a suit and my Ergo baby carrier with one of my babies in it, like when I am speaking (baby often comes with me!) or at a conference.

Because of this, I came up with a personal tagline: I look good wearing a pantsuit and a baby. Meaning, I feel good when I find the balance between my home and work life, and that usually comes from blending them together.

The backstory of my tagline goes back to 2009 when I was attending a national convention. I was running around in a suit carrying Joshua in my Ergo (baby wearing) and caught a glimpse of myself in a mirrored door and thought, I look AWESOME!

 

I loved the concept of “looking good wearing a pantsuit and a baby” because it seemed to capture where I was with my dual jobs…working part time as an educator and media liaison for a non-profit and being a mom of two small kids.

Now my style has changed more to professional dresses, and now I’m wearing baby 3, Estel. I’m still wearing high heels, and now I’m doing it all on a bike (since we moved to the Netherlands).

Do you have a personal style that makes you feel confident?

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Posted by becky on Jan 16th, 2013 and is filed under My Family, Women Working.

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  • Nichole Nelson

    I definitely feel more confident when I dress up, too.
    I usually end up doing more of one thing than the other and focus all my time and energy on that. When I first became a stay-at-home-wife I was horrible at it, because all I had prepared in life was to be an academic and professional. I was so horrible, I got depressed and stayed in my pj’s half the day. FLYLady suggested getting dressed down to your shoes (I don’t do the shoes but I got the point) and a routine, *like one you’d have at work,* I added. Then I became a pretty good housewife and mother and now I’m nervous again when I get out into the world outside my home. But dressing the part helps. I own one professional suit that still fits after becoming a mother. It’s brown and happens to match my Boba. I got a lot of compliments on it at the oratory contest! I’m not gonna lie, I pretty much felt on top of the world. We had one semi-formal dinner at a teen conference for which Micah and I were chaperones. Getting dressed up really seemed to boost everyone’s morale. The guys felt handsome, the girls felt pretty and I *loved* that the girls asked me to do their hair because they liked how I had done mine. That more than anything made me realize how much they looked up to me — the compliments they gave and the questions they’d ask while I was doing their hair. P.S. Now I really want an occasion to dress up! 

    • http://www.beckycastlemiller.com/ Becky Castle Miller

      Concerts with the local chorus?

    • Thomasmama

       Nichole, every day you get up and have life IS an occasion!  One of my daughters use to school in a tutu and boa….her version of celebration while doing math!  ;)

      • http://www.beckycastlemiller.com/ Becky Castle Miller

        Maybe I should have worn a tutu to do math…I probably would have enjoyed math more!

  • Janevm

    Becky, did you get paid for HARO? As a freelance writer it is important that we all get a fair wage.

    • http://www.beckycastlemiller.com/ Becky Castle Miller

      HARO is a PR tool. Reporters are looking for sources, and the sources are looking for exposure. The writer got a quote for her story, and I got traffic for my site. Win-win.

  • Thomasmama

    Great writing, Becky!  I totally agree!  I love to look *pretty*  and feminine and putting on dresses for my “job” has always helped me feel like I am important enough to look good.  (because a princess always is) Dressing for our job (as keepers of the home) gets me in the right mind set….even when 6 children pulled me in all directions.  LOVE thrift stores and sitting under friends my size with great taste, then I could care less when babies barfed, food got encrusted, bleach got spilled, items got snagged….just toss and go on to the next lovely item.  Miss you all!  You all truly seem to shine there!  Lots of love!  ♥

  • http://twitter.com/karlitacat Karla Curry

    I agree that what you wear can affect your attitude.  Sometimes I just don’t feel like officially getting dressed… so I feel frumpy, yet often more relaxed.  Dressing up does make me feel good and makes me hold myself differently, though I can often get sidetracked with the *effort* of getting dressed up and finding something that fits and actually looks good!  

    I feel like I can’t really wear the style I most like because my body type doesn’t, er, agree with it – I’m just not a gal who can wear skirts!  But regardless, aside from occasionally getting dressed up or wearing something remotely sexy for my husband, I think I probably feel best when I’m wearing something dressy-casual.  A good-fitting pair of dark wash jeans with a nice top has my vote any day.  It’s so versatile because you can mix up the accessories and your hair and makeup.  

    Sometimes trying to find a skirt or dress that fits and looks good reminds me of having to wear a uniform to junior high/high school and my parents telling me I had to dress a certain way to go to church.  UGH.

    • Thomasmama

       True!  It is not about dresses vs pants but about looking beautiful vs frumpy.  My full hips and thin waist is not complimented by most pants.  It is far easier for my shape to look and feel great in skirts because most waist bands that are too big fall nicely on my hips flattering my figure way better….and I, personally, feel prettier in them.  And I totally agree with how accessories and makeup can transform a lady to go from casual to classy in less than 10 minutes (although I’m a masacara and eye liner daily person saving “art class” on my face for extra special).   And then there’s what “attitude” are we wearing (which can make the prettiest dress look down right ugly)…..but that is another whole article for another time.  lol!  ;)  ♥

  • Nicholelnelson

    Amy really captured you, by the way. She has talent!