When You’re Uncertain About Life

…it’s hard to write about it. Because what do you say? “I have no idea what I’m doing right now.” That’s not very interesting, but it is comforting, because probably a lot of other people feel the same way.

When Penelope Trunk wrote in April that she was having a hard time writing about her life because she didn’t want to face her life, she identified for me what I was feeling too. She made me feel not-alone by sharing her uncertainty, so I’ll pass that along to you. Life has been very uncertain for the past few months, but it’s sorting out now. If you’re having trouble facing your life right now, I hope things sort out for you as well. And in the meantime, watch Doctor Who.

It was also Penelope Trunk who said to try a lot of things in your 20s even if you make mistakes. I tried a lot of things in my 20s, and I made mistakes, and it paid off, because now in my 30s (just celebrated my 32nd birthday!) I’ve narrowed down what I’m good at and what I want to do.

I’ve wanted to be a women’s magazine editor since I was 24. I have an old journal somewhere with my notes on the magazine I wanted to start. That was back when print journalism was still a thing… It took me 8 years, but I’m finally doing it. After two years of planning, I’m almost ready to launch an online magazine focused on women’s mental and emotional health. (Still fixing bugs on the website—should be able to promote it by this weekend.) Since I wrote those original notes, I’ve had three kids, four jobs, and an emotional breakdown, and all of those things are contributing to making the magazine even better.

And if you’re wondering how to find the time to launch a magazine while working from home with three kids, see the photo? I made site edits on Saturday while sitting on the stairs by the laundry room to keep the loads going, and letting Estel play with my toes occupied her for a solid 15-20 minutes.

As I’ve narrowed down my focus to the things only I can do, it’s helped me cut uncertainty out of my life. So I feel ready to write about it again.

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  • R. Green

    Thanks for sharing! Excited to read the magazine!

  • monicaflores

    As ever, I appreciate your heart. Looking forward to the magazine!